Man so f**ked he can’t remember anything about festival ‘had amazing time’
A MAN who does not have a single coherent memory of a music festival he spent the weekend at firmly believes he had the time of his life.
43-year-old Nathan Muir attended Britpop revival festival Last Orders in Hebden Bridge while being so off his face he remembers less of it than a pet goldfish, taken along to watch Sleeper’s headlining set from within a bag, would remember.
Friend Joe Turner said: “He’s at that age where he gets incredibly excited about having a weekend off from the kids.
By 6pm Friday he’d smashed four pints in direct sunlight, which is worse for middle-aged men than for vampires.
“After that he purchased four unidentifiable pills from a shady 20-year-old, did one, did another because the first wasn’t working, and was last seen sitting in a bush asking who had stolen his trainers which he was wearing.
“He didn’t sleep, began Saturday with vodka Red Bull at 8am and you can imagine how the rest of the day went. If he says Terrorvision were incredible on the main stage it’s bullshit.
At that point he was in the welfare tent crying.” Muir said: “Terrorvision were incredible on the main stage.”
Source: www.thedailymash.co.uk
